Misunderstood

Like always... It's been a while since my last post. I always have so much to say but so little time. I'm kind of getting tired of that constant feeling, BUSY seems to always be my answer. At the point in my life I wish I had the strength to keep up with change and realize not to coward when I need to change things. I'm so close to a breakthrough that seems to be breaking me in the process. Time is always painful. I try to stay focused on things that need my energy, but I'm always getting exhausted on things that don't need it at all. God uses many ways to bring us closer to Him. The valleys are always used for that. There in the middle of nowhere, where everything seems to keep closing in... We seek for more understanding of the Almighty.  I'm tired of religion and fake smiles. I long for a true sister and brother in Christ. One that can share our lives together and really pray for our spiritual and physical needs. I think that's too much to ask for nowadays. We seem to all be stuck in a valley and to busy to notice each other's need. Is that what God wants? How can we be filled with God when we feel so empty?
Lately I've been having dreams of losing my best friend. I just told him about them recently. I fear that our enemy is closer than we think. It bothers me that he can't see it. But how could he? He's so close to her. I know God will get us through this, he always has. Like I said earlier, we are about to go through a spiritual breakthrough but still feel like I'm about to break before we get there.