It's now September of 2016! My hubby had a birthday yesterday, he's closer to 40 now! We have taken some huge steps in the last couple of years. Today I took a leap of faith and gave my 2 week notice at my job that I had been in for 5 years. I have a lot of mixed emotions but I do have confirmation that this what God wants for our family. Mark has started his own business and really needs me. I have also overstayed my welcome where I'm at. I'm ready for something new! To help build our dreams and be there 100% for my family. For the first time in my life, I'm going to let my husband take care of me and by doing that, God will continue to take of me!!

I haven't wrote anything here lately but I'm going to share a bit of what has happened since last November, almost a year ago!

Last year I was told that I might have lymph node cancer. It all started with a knot on my neck, it was small around June but by November it was really palpable. I started to feel sick around November, almost like I had the flu and just couldn't get over it. I went to my primary doctor and we tried antibiotics for a possible infection but that didn't work. After a couple of weeks I was referred to the ENT specialist and on the same day he saw me I had a CT scan done.  That day by 3pm I had a phone call from the ENT doctor telling that the results were not good and I needed to come back for a scope and a biopsy. That's when it all started to go down hill. I had already been sick every day. There were days that I couldn't get up and felt this throbbing pain on my neck. I didn't have any energy and felt like I just wanted to lie on my recliner the entire day. Thankfully I work from home so I didn't have to get up and get all dressed up to go to work. All I needed to do was take a quick shower and put some comfortable clothes and sit at my desk to work.

After my scope and biopsy I had to wait on the pathology results. I didn't get my results until December 24th (Christmas Eve). That day I went in with my husband was told that the results showed positive for cancer cells. I had to have the lymph node removed but not only was it one but there was two in the same place. My doctor told me "I will schedule you to get the top one removed but the one down in your throat, not even the best surgeon can get it out and that one will need Chemotherapy".  During this wait time, I waited on God and what His answer would be. I was feeling awful and sick everyday. I'm a strong person and couldn't even go to the store without feeling sick. I never budged on my faith, I knew that God had always been there for me no matter what I was going through. But I also stood firm that if I didn't have what I thought would be a good outcome like, Chemo or death, everything would still be good. I still belonged to God and my family belonged to Him also. I held strong to my faith that no matter what God was in control and no matter what happen, He would be our strength and hold us in His hands.

You know, I wasn't scared of dying. I was sad that I might not be able to be there for my family on some of the best moments of their lives. I start having graduations 2017 for three years in a row! I knew that if I had chemo there would be some very hard days to come and I couldn't even plan a road trip with my family or anything. It was a time to just have faith... To just be still and smile because God has my life in His hands, and by that I don't mean this life, I mean my eternity! He would take care of my loved ones, no matter what! He would be with us all the days of our lives. He was not surprised or caught off guard. He knows the plans he has for us. I just waited and rested in his comfort. I didn't tell my kids what I was told that. I didn't want to ruin their Christmas and I smiled that night and held them tight.